Although Im 99% sure my weight gain has been due to my last increased dosage of my antidepressant (which I will be discussing changing with my doctor soon), I have also been taking other measures to help with losing or attempting to lose some or all of the weight Ive gained in the past few months. I no longer binge eat. Im at a place where I can stop myself and really think about the consequences which leads to me not wanting to. I’m attempting to eat healthier, get more protein in my diet. I say attempt because I’m on a pretty tight budget and can’t afford to buy the proper things all the time but Im making an effort and even learning some easy recipes. Being more active. Going on more walks, trying to keep my body and brain busy and just keep my body moving. If I find I’ve been sitting for longer than I should, I’ll get up, walk around, stretch or “shake it off”. …Keep Reading ♥

I have been really thinking about talking to my doctor about switching my antidepressant. The only thing that was really holding me back was the fact that in May 2025 I was taken off all of my mental health medications (been on numerous kinds since the age of 15) and started from scratch. In July 2025 I started out with 5mg of fluoxetine and by October 2025 started my current dose of 40mg. It has been working but there are a couple of side effects that I don’t like and I never experienced them when I was on escitalopram. I also feel the escitalopram helped alot more with my social anxiety, I just feel I wasn’t on the correct dose that would work for me. If by chance I end up switching and discovering that the escitalopram has more side effects or does not work as well as fluoxetine, then I will switch back to fluoxetine, which honestly would be great without these 2 major side effects; however, I am willing to live with those side effects if it turns out the escitalopram isn’t working properly. I was just really hoping not to have to try different SSRI’s as that’s how I basically spent my entire 20’s doing, but I am willing to do so if it means being the best I can be in order to manage my conditions.

 I’ve been on my new antidepressants for about 6 months now, and although it took some dosage adjustments followed by time, they seem to be working pretty good. However, I have 2 side effects that are lingering around and not to mention they are just 2 of the handful of side effects that could occur that I extremely dis like and feel I’d be doing even better without these side effects. Ive been on my fair share of SSRI’s over the years, and with a few came with living with certain side effects which has always made it worth it in the long haul. However, I feel that the SSRI I was on prior to my serotonin syndrome induced psychosis had very few side effects and did not have the main 2 Im currently struggling with. 

I think I will discuss possibly going back on my previous medication as I feel if it could make me feel like this without the 2 particular side effects Id feel even better and excel. However, Im also scared to go through the whole switching process just to find out it didn’t work as well and go back on these ones. It definitely takes alot of time and experimenting (under a doctor’s care) to find the right one(s) that work. Im still trying over 20 years later. Im still optimistic though.

 My goal this year regarding my blog is the following:

• Post frequently/on a somewhat regular schedule
• Include more information regarding mental health issues, in particular ADHD
• Provide useful resources 
• Updates on my own journey of living and maintaining my own mental health issues
• An outlet for my own personal opinions on various topics
• Possibly putting my blog more “out there” to attract actual readers (hoping to build my confidence to do so lol)

I will be including more content and links as well. Posting throughout this year is my biggest personal goal for the year!

 There’s been a lot of news and articles for a while regarding the Epstein Files. If you’re unfamiliar with the topic, either you don’t watch the news, don’t have any social media (or internet), or basically, you live under a rock, but you can click here to see the Google search results. I am not going to get into any details or facts, rather just share a quick personal opinion and well, fear I have.

In my personal opinion, I 100% and fully support the files being released. However, that being said I also have a fear. My fear is that the individuals on that list are, in fact, not great human beings. There are a lot of celebrities that are on this list, allegedly and my fear is “how many of them on that list will I end up losing respect for and supporting.” Of course, I think everyone should be aware of what these people are really like, but it would be disappointing to say the least, finding out someone you originally thought was a good human being and maybe even idolized turns out to be the opposite. 

For example, I have lost respect and will no longer support celebrities such as Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith, Sean Combs and Niki Minaj, just to name a few. Listing these people are not related to the Epstein Files (then again who knows!) but for other various reasons. All in all, it’s just sad, but I’d rather know who is on the list even if I originally was a fan and boycotting being a fan than to continue to support truly horrible individuals who are criminals.